So I always thought that this was pretty common but all my fellow PT trainers looked at me like I was crazy yesterday...
Whether it is in training or during a race I always feel there is a separation of my body and mind. Sometimes they work together sometimes they don't, but there is always a distinct separation in my mind.
To clarify I don't mean that I actually have two distinct voices telling me what to do, because that is call schizophrenia and that would be really bad...
I am more referring to that voice that pops up in the middle of a long swim, or the first couple steps off the bike in a tri. The voice that reminds you how easy it would be to just stop and let you muscle rest, that points out how much the acid is burning your legs and tries to tell you that only crazy people do this silly endurance racing thing.
But then there is the other voice that urges you to keep going, that says "Its not that bad, you can push harder," "remember all that training, this is when it pays off," or my personal favorite "Stop whining, you can rest when you get to the finish!"
Anybody that knows the pain of pushing through a hard workout, or finding that last bit of power for a sprint finish, has had moments where they ask themselves "why am I doing this?"
I have had many workouts where something in me just isn't there, the drive to carry on just doesn't come through, and I ask myself "is this really what I call fun?". But then I remember the days where body and mind are in total sync; when all the voices are quiet and the universe comes into line, when everything feels smooth and effortless. Those rare and wonderful moments where time stands still and distance flies by.
So the next time I ask myself "why am I DOING this," I will know it is for those undefinable, perfect moments where body and mind become one and the world becomes my playground.
4 months ago